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Easy a Monologue Whatever Happened to Chivalry

Earlier this month, Netflix added Easy A (dir. Will Gluck, 2010) to their list of titles, and ya girl was EXCITED.

I used to watch this movie all the time in high school — much to my mother's annoyance. However, I haven't watched it in almost a decade. But you know what they say, there's no time like the present!

So sit back, cuddle up with your copy of The Scarlet Letter, and enjoy:

1. OK, right off the bat — and this may be because I went to film school* and I can't NOT notice these things — but I cannot believe that Penn Badgley got billed before Amanda Bynes**!

Opening titles of Easy A

2. Did...Olive invent vlogging?

Olive talking to her webcam

3. *George Clooney has entered the chat*:

Olive and Rhiannon walking across the quad

4. OMG, the montage of Olive singing "Pocketful of Sunshine" is a cinematic moment:

Olive taking a shower

5. AHHH Penn Badgley...despite my love for him, the Blue Devils mascot costume is LAZY AF:

6. And so our plot begins! Again, will never understand why high schoolers care if/when their fellow students lose their virginities...or maybe it's a cliché invented by Hollywood!!

7. I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS LINE!

Olive and her family having dinner

8. OK, I do not condone Olive calling this girl a "tw@t," BUT methinks Nina should have also been punished!

Nina addressing Olive in class

9. I can't help but wonder if Rhiannon didn't push Olive for false information/listened when she tried to come clean, then we wouldn't have been caught in this web o' lies:

Rhiannon and Olive walking on campus

10. UGH, I forgot that this all started because she wanted to help Brandon, who was getting bullied for being gay:

Brandon talking to Olive in her bedroom

11. I would never, EVER let teens have sex in my room at my party. Isn't that what guest rooms are for?

12. AHH yes, the double standard of men having sex in HS and women having sex in HS:

Olive and Brandon leaving the bedroom after pretending to have sex

13. HOLY SHIT! $200!! AND A DILDO!!

Brandon's gift card and vibrator present for Olive

14. CAN SOMEONE SAY "CULTURAL RESET"?

Olive walking down the hallway in her first corset

15. And the PLOT THICKENS:

Olive standing in front of the pool

16. Ugh, this monologue fucking HIT ME IN THE FEELS!

17. Mr. Griffith standing up for Olive and caring about her wellbeing is why teachers are not paid enough:

Olive's teacher and guidance counselor talking in his classroom

18. MICAH! Why did you lie and say Olive gave you chlamydia? Just as she was becoming friends with Marianne, too:

19. WAIT! MRS. GRIFFITH GAVE MICAH CHLAMYDIA? Not only is she awful at her job, she's also a cheater*:

Mrs. Griffith talking to Olive in her office

20. Maybe if these kids minded their business/didn't believe every rumor they heard, Olive wouldn't be in this situation:

Olive in a confession booth

21. OK, Patricia Clarkson has worn this exact yellow dress in every scene she's appeared in:

Rosemary sitting on the couch

22. Once again: MEN. AIN'T. SHIT:

Anson presenting Olive with a gift card

23. Re: above statement...OK, maybe not ALL men:

Todd driving Olive home

24. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?? MIND YA BUSINESS TO IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH!

Todd driving Olive home

25. WOW. That joke really came full circle:

Olive talking to a girl on the street after reflecting on something from earlier in the movie

26. Can we all agree that Mrs. Griffith is the villain of this movie???

Mrs. Griffith talking to Olive in her office

27. I fully support Olive outing Mr. Griffith's cheating wife to him:

Olive confessing to Mr. Griffith

28. WE LOVE GUERRILLA MARKETING!! How do you get people to go home and watch your webcast about how you're not a trollop? By singing a sexy song, of course!

29. OMG WOODCHUCK TODD!!

Todd's romantic gesture for Olive

30. AND WE GOT THE JUDD NELSON FIST THRUST!!

Olive and Todd ridding off into the sunset on a lawnmower

Moral of the story: mind ya business and stan Patricia Clarkson for clear skin and good health.

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Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ehisosifo1/easy-a-adult-rewatch